she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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