It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
