quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Boobs are out for the taking
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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