i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Your penis caused this!
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