Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize
