Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Randomize
