Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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