bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
