escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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