I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
