Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
