sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
