who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
