This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Randomize
