I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize