You work out of a Hotel?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
