At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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