The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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