even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize