i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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