Im at strip club and am horny
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
