Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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