dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
