CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
being pregnant is like rehab
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
