would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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