so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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