I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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