dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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