I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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