i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
It's blow job season.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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