She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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