guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Randomize
