wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
