Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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