U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
