Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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