Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
