Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
