Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
