I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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