it was like his penis was on wheels.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
