i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
