he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
