physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
