If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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