wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
