Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
