i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
