Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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