i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
