i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
