need another drink. this is the easiest way
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
