Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
