watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Let's get the cat blown out
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
