so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
