Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
