Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
