i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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